


robin hood

by stileshale033



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Dad, Abusive Parents, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Abuse, Fluff, Kageyama has anxiety, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Regret, Unrequited Love, Victim Complex, basically this is just a draft, i have so many different endings, i’ve decided just now that there will be this and another one like this, not kagehina ending, will probably rewrite this 29389293 times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:14:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28283799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stileshale033/pseuds/stileshale033
Summary: based off the song robin hood by anson seabrawhen it was all over, kageyama didn’t know what to do. he should’ve fought. he shouldn’t have let hinata go. he should’ve tried. but he didn’t, and that was the biggest regret.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 10





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> uhm- chile- this may or may not be me putting my relationship and childhood tramua into a kagehina fic- basically for anyone wondering this is what happened to me, and since i didn’t get my ending i wanted kageyama won’t either :D AKJEKSKS PLZ- anyways so if you want a happy fic, i don’t recommend this one. also im a multishipper so like oikage and kagehina are both my favorite ships so:) hope you enjoy  
> also little side note i realized the person i’m writing this about knows this account so if you are that person,, plz don’t read it 😟😟😟

~could’ve been my happy ever after~

February 16th 

It was two days after Valentine’s day, and Kageyama was honestly happy. He had Hinata in his life, and there was Yamaguchi and Tsukki as well, even if he wasn’t as close with them. For Valentine’s day he had gotten a few confessions, none of which he was interested in, but he had received a packet of notes from Hinata.

What was so interesting about notes from Hinata? He had that exact thought until Hinata explained exactly what it was.

“It’s this thing I saw on pinterest!” Hinata practically shouted out of excitement, “I wrote down something everyday for 90 days that I thought about you, and then you pick one randomly everyday for 90 days! Isn’t that so cool?!” Hinata continued, a smile lighting up his face. At the time, Kageyama had just responded with a stiff nod, but in his head he was secretly dancing.

-

Kageyama was currently at lunch break during school, with Hinata ranting about something while Tsukki and Yamaguchi were talking about something else. Kageyama was half interesting in what Hinata was saying, something about his new favorite tv show.

“-and then they were on Earth! I personally thought Clarke was annoying, but Octavia was like super duper hot!” Hm. Kageyama hadn’t heard about this particular show, he had no recollection who “Octavia” supposedly was, but he did know that he did not like her. Anyone Hinata thought was hot was not someone Hinata should be seeing, though as Kageyama thought about it more he wondered why it even mattered to him.

-later that day, kageyamas at home-

Kageyama, his four siblings, and his parents were sitting at the dinner table for another awkward and silent dinner. His parents made them do this every once and awhile, making themselves feel like they actually had a good relationship with their children, making them feel like their dad didn’t emotionally abuse them, play the victim, and their mom like she wasn’t absurdly overprotective in a creepy manner, like she didn’t body-shame Kageyama’s older sister.

Kageyama’s family consisted of him, the second child, his older sister Kite, his younger (and very annoying) sister Aiko, his younger brothers Gen and Jin. He never socialized with them much, finding them all annoying and obnoxious if he was being honest. Kite was what you would call a “pick me girl”, Aiko was obsessed with these weird figurines that were something along the lines of “hatchamils” and gachalife, Gen had anger issues and tended to beat up his younger brother, Jin. Jin was the only sibling of Kageyamas that liked, but that might’ve been because he was only 4.

Kageyamas parents weren’t bad by any means, but they also weren’t good. His dad had a tendency to let his anger get ahold of him, but he’d only slapped Kageyama across the face when Kageyama knew he deserved it. When Kageyama was younger, he liked to ‘talk back’ and had an attitude that was not to his parents standards. 

On one particularly evening, Kageyama was being a little shit, and he knew it. He was around 10 or 11, and his dad asked him to do the dishes, AND clear off the countertop when all Kageyama wanted to do was go outside and practice setting against the wall. At the time, it seemed the end of the world. He threw a fit, and refused to do the dishes. 

His dad had yelled at him, how he wasn’t appreciative of what he had, and how his attitude was awful and how he was a spoiled shitty little brat. Kageyama had stood there, mastering his straight face at a young age, and that had made his dad angered even more for some reason. His dad had demanded he finish all the laundry in the laundry room now, dragging him by his ear to the laundry room. That was when Kageyama made his mistake.

“No! I will not fold everyone’s laundry! I want to practice my volleyball.” Kageyama said with as much courage he could muster, even if it sounded whiny even to his own ears.

“Volleyball, eh? That’s all you ever care about! Why can’t you care about something other than volleyball, like you’re family! We provide you with everything you need, clothes and food and a roof to live under! So why can’t you just clean a bit!” His dad was being reasonable, but at the time Kageyama wasn’t.

“No! I want to do my volleyball!” His dad let go off his ear, and looked him in the eye. Then his dad slapped him. Hard.

-

After that night, his dad had never directly hit him again. But he did remember later that night, his parents yelling at each other.

“KAGEYAMA HAS A BRUISE ON HIS FACE! FROM YOU! I- I don’t even know why I stay with you, you shouldn’t have ever resorted to that...” Kageyama sometimes hated how thin their walls were, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“IT WASN’T MY FAULT! He was doing his little shitty attitude that he has! He was refusing to do the simple stuff I asked off!” Kageyama regretted not just doing the chores. It all seemed so little now, and he hated when his parents fought. 

“Still! You should’ve never slapped him...” He could hear his mom sigh through the wall.

“Well what was I suppose to do? Just let him do nothing, get away with sitting on his ass all day? Huh? This isn’t my fault, if anything it’s yours for letting him think all that matters is volleyball! You and I both know that in ten years volleyball won’t even be a factor in his life, so why even bother with it-“ Kageyama had heard enough, and walked out of the bathroom door to go outside.

-

He was 16 now, and hid in his room all day. He had no intention to speak to his parents, even if they were insistent on talking to him. He remembered all those times were he wasn’t enough, he would never be enough to them. At this point their opinion had little to no effect on him, especially when he had Hinata. 

Hinata could be a dumb ass, yes, but he always reminded Kageyama how much he was actually worth. The little “You’re such a show off” Hinata would mutter after Kageyama had set another perfect toss to him, Hinata’s admiringly staring at Kageyama’s hands as he set, always made Kageyama’s heart swell even if it wasn’t Hinata’s intention to be a compliment. 

“-yama. Kageyama, I asked you a question!” His dad knocked him back into the real world, and Kageyama had no idea what he had asked.

“What’d you say?” His dad sighed.

“Never paying attention, as usual. I asked how volleyball was going.” His dad stared at him intensely, and Kageyama shivered. 

“It’s going fine.” That was the end of the conversation for that night.

~living like we’re in a fairy tale~


	2. right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm yes i’m continuing this, i hope you all enjoy it! and just saying now if there’s any undercase letters or miss spelled words sorry! i don’t have a beta:/

~but you and me were more like a disaster~

February 18th

The day started as any other day, Kageyama waking up to walk to early practice with Hinata. Him and Hinata had a standing tradition that they always walked with each other, even if none of them mentioned it. Hinata always rode his bike up the Kageyama’s house, and Kageyama would walk out to meet him. This day was like any other day, and Kageyama smiled to himself when he saw Hinata waving at him with a smile in his eyes.

“Kageyama! Hurry, we’ll be late like last time! Daichi is scary when he’s mad! Very scary...” Hinata trailed off suddenly paling.

Kageyama laughed.

“Hey! That’s not funny!” 

-

They were reaching the school just now, and were having steady conversation about the upcoming quiz, when Hinata got quiet.

“Hinata, are you okay?” Kageyama asked with a little concern, but Hinata hadn’t said anything for the past few minutes which wasn’t like him. 

“Kageyama... I have to tell you something...” Hinata sounded weird. This wasn’t like Hinata. But Kageyama just stood there, not saying anything. He didn’t know what to say.

Hinata looked up at him with those eyes. Those eyes that made Kageyama want to throw up but also smile. Kageyama was a little scared of those eyes.

“Uh- you see, well... I like you Kageyama. A lot. More than a friend. Like I would like to date you, and say you’re mine.” Kageyama froze. No. This couldn’t be happening. Hinata... Hinata was Kageyama’s friend. Not Kageyama’s boyfriend. Kageyama didn’t want him to be his boyfriend, no no no! Everything had been going good! Why did Hinata... why did Hinata have to ruin this for him..? They were perfectly fine as friends! It was enough for Kageyama, but was it enough for Hinata?

Kageyama realized Hinata was waiting for a response, a response Kageyama couldn’t give him. 

“I’m sorry-“ Kageyama tried to continue, but there was tears in Hinata’s eyes and he just couldn’t do this to him- 

“Give me time. I had no idea you felt this way, and I have personally never even thought about this stuff. So just give me a little while to think it over, okay?” Fuck. No. He should’ve just rejected him, let him down the hard way. But Hinata’s eyes... he could never hurt Hinata. Even if it meant probably hurting Hinata in the end more if Hinata ever found out, even if it made Kageyama truly realize just how bad of a person he was. But he couldn’t hurt him. 

“Okay! I did realize this was a lot to think about, that’s okay! Just let me know, whenever you make your decision, okay?” Hinata gave him the biggest smile Kageyama had ever seen, and Kageyama wanted to disappear.

-

They went on to practice and school like nothing had happened, but it was all Kageyama could think about.

Hinata? Liking him? How? Kageyama was cut off and rude to everyone, even if he didn’t realize it till afterwards sometimes. He didn’t smile much, and all he did was set to Hinata. Yes, they hung out a lot outside of volleyball, for sleepovers and hangouts, but Kageyama didn’t realize... how? Hinata was Kageyama’s best friend. And Kageyama was Hinata’s best friend.

When had this happened? Kageyama didn’t realize how close he was to Hinata, until this. Wow. What a great friend he was. He felt guilty now, and stupid because he didn’t realize it. Now that he thought about it, they texted every single day. Shit. 

As for who Kageyama was attracted to, he guessed his internalized misogyny just made him like girls. He had never thought about it until he was around 10, after reading the Harry Potter and thinking Cedric was kinda cute. He took a few Am I Gay? quizzes, but all of them had clearly said he was straight. But was that just because he had purposely answered he thought girls were pretty and girls only? Or was he just lying to himself and he was actually attracted to men, but he’s to scared to admit it?

Yes, he had thought Cedric was cute, but was he only doing that because he wanted to be different? Or was it a genuine feeling? This was making Kageyama’s brain hurt. He had no idea what he was actually feeling, and he hated it. It should’ve have been this hard to know who you were attracted to, right? 

-

Kageyama was spaced out all during practice, and he could tell the others noticed but chose not to say anything. Hinata was all bubbles as usual, but Kageyama could tell by his facial expression that he was nervous. Since when could Kageyama read Hinata’s emotions so clearly? He had no idea.

Kageyama’s sets were a little off, but still good enough to hit. Suga looked like he wanted to mention something, but all Suga did was watch. Kageyama was grateful for that, he would rather not talk about it.

After practice Hinata was waiting by the door for him, but he didn’t feel like walking with Hinata today. He needed some more time to think. Time. He just needed time. 

“Kageyama! Let’s go!” Hinata looked nervous again for some reason, like he was afraid. Was he afraid of Kageyama? No, that couldn’t be the reason. He hadn’t been scared of Kageyama since middle school, so why did he look nervous now? 

“Sorry Hinata, I would like to walk by myself today,” Hinata’s face crumbled. “I just need some time to think, okay?” Hinata looked hopeful at that, but still dejected. Kageyama wished he didn’t have to do this, hurting Hinata hurt Kageyama. 

“You- you sure? We don’t have to talk, I can be quiet!” Hinata tried, but Kageyama wouldn’t let him.

“No. I want to walk by myself.” Kageyama had to be hard with Hinata. Even if it hurt Kageyama more than Hinata. 

“O-okay, that’s okay. Have fun on your walk.” Hinata smiled, but Kageyama saw the break in his composure, the way his eye twitched, the way that his smile didn’t meet his eyes, the way he tapped his fingers to his thigh. Kageyama hated that he let himself get this close.

“Okay, bye Kageyama! I love you!” Hinata smiled again, this time it was even bigger. Kageyama just nodded, and as Hinata walked away he told him he loved Hinata too even if Hinata couldn’t hear.

-

On his walk, Kageyama put on his headphones and drowned out the world with Artic Monkeys and The Neighbourhood. Both of the bands were his favorite, The Neighbourhood he had found on his own, but Artic Monkeys was Hinata’s recommendation, specifically 505. So he had added them to his playlist, and found he enjoyed their music a lot. He didn’t think about lyrics though.

“You’re my best friend I’ll love you forever” 

The lyric repeated in his mind, and they had a whole new meaning to him now. He knew he’d love Hinata forever, the first person to see Kageyama as he was, and not who he looked as. It pained him when everyone thought he was the “King of the Court” but he also liked it in a way. It was kinda a compliment in its own way, even if Kageyama knew no one used to mean it as one. 

But Hinata, Hinata had completely turned it around, and made it a compliment, at least to the people on the Karasuno team. Tsukki hadn’t called him “King” ever after Hinata had pointed out it was a good thing every once and awhile, and Kageyama was happy about that. 

Hinata had seen everything Kageyama couldn’t. So why couldn’t Kageyama see Hinata in a romantic way? It should be simple, though he supposed things weren’t usually simple. Fuck.

After leering on it all day, Kageyama had decided he was bisexual. He definitely liked girls, but MEN. Men were... good. Definitely good. But so were girls. Even if he wasn’t completely clear on the labels, bisexual was the easiest for him, and it’s not like he was planning on telling anyone.

When he thought of Cedric, he definitely wanted to kiss him. Definitely. But when it came to Hinata... he just wanted to be something in Hinata’s life, not so much a lover. Hinata... he was everything to Kageyama, but Kageyama just simply didn’t want him in that way. Kageyama wished he did, he wished he loved Hinata the way Hinata loved him. Why couldn’t he love Hinata the way Hinata loved Kageyama? 

Hinata was definitely cute, and pretty. He had a soft feminine jaw, small nose that pointed up, and big brown eyes that were somehow masculine but it matched with his feminine features perfectly. As for Hinata’s body, it was a good balance between muscular and lean. His bright orange hair was shiny in the sun, and dark in the normal lights, and looked like the color was always slightly changing. It was mesmerizing.

And yet, Kageyama didn’t want to kiss him, yet Kageyama knew he could never reject Hinata. He would say yes. Maybe not tomorrow or for the next week, he wasn’t ready yet. But he could never reject Hinata. How could he?

-  
March 12th 

The weeks went on with Hinata looking less hopeful everyday, and Kageyama feeling worse and worse. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to reject Hinata, but he also didn’t want to say yes when he knew he didn’t mean it. But he couldn’t reject Hinata. But he couldn’t accept Hinata either. 

Today the volleyball had gone to Tokyo to practice with Nekoma, and had even got to skip school which excited Kageyama. Hinata and Kageyama had gone shopping for snacks together last night, buying donuts, chips, and Sprite. They were sitting on the bus together, and Kageyama was listening to music while Hinata was talking to everyone else.

They were supposed to be watching a movie, but no one was paying attention. Yamaguchi and Tsukki were both asleep, Yamaguchis head laying on Tsukkis shoulder. Kageyama made a mental note to make fun of them for it later.

Hinata was talking to Tanaka and Noya, but Kageyama couldn’t hear them over his music. But he could smell Hinata, his house smell. It surrounded him. 

He wanted to hug Hinata, but he also wanted to run as far away as he could.

-

During the training camp, he and Hinata stuck together as they always did. If Hinata needed a drink a water Kageyama needed a drink of water. If Hinata needed to go to the bathroom so did Kageyama. It was routine at this point. Even though Kageyama hadn’t “confessed” to Hinata yet, they had got closer than ever these past few weeks. 

Neither Kageyama nor Hinata brought up the confession again, and Kageyama was perfectly content with that. If he had it his way, he would ignore it forever, even if he knew that couldn’t be the case. Even if he wanted it to be.

They were finishing up the camp, and Kageyama was slightly offended Hinata had basically ignored him the whole time, but Kageyama hadn’t exactly been up for conversation either. Besides, Hinata usually talked to other people verbally more than Kageyama, but stayed near him physically. It was an odd combo, but he didn’t mind, and actually liked it most of the time.

-

Later that night the team went to a local pizza place, considering they didn’t have back any at Karasuno. It was a special treat from the coaches.

They were split up into four tables, one with Takeda and Coach Ukai, which Tanaka and Noya were betting on how much they thought they were dating, or will be dating soon. Tanaka said they were dating, and Noya said a month. Kageyama rolled his eyes.

At the other tables, there was Asahi, Daichi, Suga, Ennoshita and Kinnoshita at one, Tanaka, Noya, Narita, Kageyama and Hinata at the other, and Tsukki, Yamaguchi, Yachi, and Kiyoko had the other table. 

“Woah! Guys! There’s a group of girls sitting over there!” Noya pointed out, and indeed they were. They looked around Kageyamas age, but no one really caught his eyes.

“The middle one could maybe compete with Kiyoko, Tanaka-senpai!” Hinata rushed out excitedly, and Kageyama felt a rush of coldness run throughout his body. He didn’t like it, and didn’t understand it.

“No, no one could compete with Kiyoko!” He tried to smile at Kiyoko, but she wasn’t paying attention. It was a pity everyone besides Tanaka knew she liked him back, they were adorable.

But besides that, they were all still talking about the girls, specifically the middle. Kageyama glanced at the middle one, and had to admit she was pretty. She had round eyes, a sharp jaw, and a button nose that fit her perfectly. Her long brown hair flowed nicely, and her body shape was an hourglass. Kageyama could definitely see the appeal, but he didn’t really think she was all that special. 

“Hey! Guys! Shush! She’s looking at us, we have to act swag. We are the swag, swag in a-“

“Shut up Noya!” Tanaka interrupted Noya’s not very swag rant, and Hinata laughed making Kageyama smile slightly.

“She’s looking at you Kags! What a ladies man, I have to say I’m impressed considering all you’ve done is stare at Hinata.” Tanaka smirked at his observation about Kageyama, and Hinata colored. He hadn’t been staring at Hinata, had he? He didn’t think so. Only glances here and there, yes. Only glances.

As for the girl in the middle, she was indeed looking at Kageyama. And smiling. Kinda creepy if he was being honest, she didn’t even know how old he was!

But that thought was interrupted as the pizza arrived, and they all dug in, starving from the camp.

-

After pizza, the girl was still there, and Kageyama had noticed her glancing at him time to time, which made Kageyama feel slightly better at himself in some twisted way. Someone was giving him attention, and he hated the way he wanted more. He had Hinata... he didn’t need anyone else.

Right?

~i should’ve known~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> uh yeah so basically i wrote this at 3 am and just kinda got uninspired- i have no idea if i’ll continue it or not tbh. also yes the clarke and octavia reference is from the 100
> 
> edit: i’m writing chapter two! hopefully it’ll be out soon, i usually write longer chapters then this so it’ll be longer:)


End file.
